So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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