but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just high enough for therapy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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