He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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