Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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