why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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