Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Let's get the cat blown out
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Panties = found
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
