I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
