He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
