i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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