wanna go halves on a baby?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
