It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
