I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
you never un-have a 4some
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
