if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
