she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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