Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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