oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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