thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
