So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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