Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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