I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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