I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
