We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
don't judge my taste in strippers
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
