just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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