no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
