So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
