last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
