forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
