This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
