My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
