FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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