A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
