just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
