Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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