I can tuck mytits in my pants
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
