i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
