There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
