You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
