he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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