so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
