Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
