I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
