What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
