He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
