i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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