I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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