He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
