ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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