Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Say something about gay babies.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
