so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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