Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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